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Nasir I. Randolph, LCSWA

Trauma-Informed Therapist

Podcast Host

Published Author

Clinical Social Work

Nasir I. Randolph, LCSWA

Trauma-Informed Therapist

Podcast Host

Published Author

Clinical Social Work

Blog Post

Your Sexuality Is Not a “Symptom”🧠💔

Your Sexuality Is Not a “Symptom”🧠💔

Your Sexuality Is Not a “Symptom”… Stop Treating People Like Trauma Cases 🚫🧠💔

There is a dangerous belief that quietly lives inside many families, churches, and cultural spaces:

“The only reason someone identifies as queer or expresses their sexuality differently is because something bad must have happened to them.”

Translation:
“You’re not actually yourself — you’re just reacting to trauma.”

It sounds like concern, but it’s actually erasure.
It dismisses identity, flattens lived experience, and reduces a full human being into a case study.

The Danger of Diagnosing What You Don’t Understand ⚠️

When people assume “they’re only gay because of trauma” or “she turned out like that after something happened,” they aren’t protecting anyone… they’re projecting their own discomfort.

This mindset:

  • ❌ Invalidates queer identity by treating it like a malfunction
  • ❌ Weaponizes trauma as a way to explain away existence
  • ❌ Forces real survivors into silence because now all sexuality becomes suspect

Worst of all, it creates a world where:

Survivors can’t heal, and queer people can’t exist without being interrogated. 🥀

Yes, Trauma Can Affect Sexuality… But It Doesn’t Create All Sexuality 📊

Let’s be nuanced:

Sexual trauma can influence relationships, boundaries, and intimacy. That is real and valid.

But research shows:

  • 📎 1 in 4 straight women and 1 in 6 straight men experience sexual violence before age 18 (CDC data) — trauma is not exclusive to LGBTQ+ people.
  • 📎 The APA found no consistent evidence that queerness is caused by trauma, meaning most LGBTQ+ adults do not credit trauma as the origin of their identity.

So if trauma “causes” sexuality,
why isn’t straightness ever questioned the same way? 🤔

Because trauma is only used as a weapon when someone’s identity makes others uncomfortable.

If You Truly Care About People… Watch Your Language 💬❤️

You can believe what you believe about sexuality, God, or morality.

But you do not get to assign pain to people just because you can’t understand their identity.

You can hold faith.
You can hold conviction.
But you must also hold integrity.

Too often people say “love the sinner, hate the sin,”
but end up hating the person while pretending it’s about principle.

Real love does not reduce, label, or diagnose.
Real care makes room for humanity, even when you disagree.

Final Thought 🌱

Not everyone’s sexuality is born from suffering.
Not everyone’s identity is a wound.
Not everyone is waiting to be “fixed” or “delivered.”

Some people are simply living their truth, not escaping their pain.

So if you truly care about healing, wholeness, or divine love…
Then let your speech be:

  • 📍 Truthful without being harmful
  • 📍 Firm without being violent
  • 📍 Spiritual without being self-righteous

Healing culture does not start with agreement.
It starts with respect. 🕊️

🎙️ Want to go deeper? I unpack topics like this on my podcast.
Listen to Mr. Randolph Speaks here → Spotify/Apple Podcast

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